The Vernacular of Youth in 1905

Originally from the Chicago Tribune, here is a conversation between two young women on the streetcar, written not according to the rules of English spelling but according to how the voices actually sounded. The result may remind you a bit of Finnegans Wake—and, like Joyce’s novel, it preserves the sound of ordinary speech of the time much better than conventional orthography could preserve it.

Back in 1905, it was usual for people to learn to read phonetically. For many people today, that is not true, and this dialogue will present an impenetrable puzzle. I’ve added a sort of translation below to help anyone who finds it hard to work out what this is all about.


This is the conversation that took place between the girl with the two-story pompadour and the girl with the aeroplane hat, on the Wentworth-avenue car:

“Seer, Jen!”

“Watcha wanta me?”

“Wanta askeesumpin. Ooze cumminout choor house t’moranight?”

“Awquitcherfoolin!”

“Aintafoolin. Oozacummin?”

“Awka moff. Ainnobudycummin.”

“Inobettern that.”

“Betchadollar thaint.”

“Betchadollar thiz.”

“Awka moff!”

“Seer, Jen! Joomeentellme Imalyre?”

“Srite. Ooze binastuffin yuh?”

“Noboddisbinastuffinme. Ino wottimatawkinabout.”

“Awka moff! Nothininnit allsame.”

“Sawl overtown.”

“Wotsawlovertown?”

“Bouchooantomjackson.”

“Oozee?”

“Core shoo don’t know!”

“Core si don’t.”

“Betchadoo.”

“Say! Juno Lilsimmons?”

“Bettidoo. Ullo! Ear sware Iga toff.”

“Well, g’by!”

“G’by !” —Chicago Tribune. —Reprinted in Life, January 19, 1905.


And now a translation, which is to say the same dialogue written in more conventional but less phonetically accurate orthography:

“See here, Jen!”

“What do you want from me?”

“Want to ask you something. Who’s coming out to your house tomorrow night?”

“Aw, quit your fooling.”

“Ain’t a-fooling. Who’s a-coming?”

“Aw, come off. Ain’t nobody coming.”

“I know better than that.”

“Bet you a dollar there ain’t.”

“Bet you a dollar there is.”

“Aw, come off!”

“See here, Jen! You mean to tell me I’m a liar?”

“That’s right. Who’s been a-stuffing you?”

“Nobody’s been a-stuffing me. I know what I’m a-talking about.”

“Aw, come off! Nothing in it all the same.”

“It’s all over town.”

“What’s all over town?”

“About you and Tom Jackson.”

“Who’s he?”

“Course you don’t know!”

“Course I don’t.”

“Say! You know Lil Simmons?”

“Bet I do. Hello! Here’s where I get off.”

“Well, goodbye!”

“Goodbye!”

Greek Ligatures and Abbreviations

Greek texts today are simply printed with the letters of the Greek alphabet, of which the most arcane difficulty is the two forms of the lower-case sigma. But Greek texts from the Renaissance into the early nineteenth century could be printed with a baffling array of ligatures and abbreviations, mimicking the manuscripts on which they were based. These two tables will help in deciphering earlier printed Greek books.

A list of ligatures and abbreviations used to embellish writings in Greek, from Alphabetum Graecum, printed in 1550 by Guil. Morelium (Guillaume Morel).

An engraved table of Abbreviations and Connexions from The Elements of Greek Grammar, printed in 1816

The War on Christmas

Every year, Fox News commentators go on the warpath against the War on Christmas, epitomized in those horrible people who say “happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas,” and especially the ones who write “Xmas” instead of “Christmas.” That never happened in the good old days.

Which brings us to a handwritten letter in the Internet Archive, where you can find anything as long as you’re not looking for it, from Nathaniel Parker Willis (who died in 1867) to his publisher.


Xmas day
New York


My dear sir

Will you be kind enough to send me six copies of “Prose Works” & two of “poems,” by Express, as soon as possible, directed to me at

19 Ludlow Place
Corner of Houston &
McDougal St’s.

I suppose you will put these to me low, will you not?

Happy holidays to you, & believe me

Yours very truly
N. P. Willis

The Craft of Pointing

This article first appeared in Dr. Boli’s Celebrated Magazine, but since it fits well with the miscellaneous mission of this site, it will be indexed and archived here.


The craft of pointing, for those who are not familiar with the old and dusty but not quite archaic use of the term, is the business of punctuating your writing. From a work on Latin grammar printed at some time in the early 1500s comes some very useful advice on how to punctuate, in English as well as in Latin. It is useful because it will open up the interpretation of other better known books from the early days of printing. This text comes from the famous collection of Typographical Antiquities by Ames and Herbert as revised by Thomas Frognall Dibdin, which is one of those scholarly names Dr. Boli wishes he had made up.

The original, which is printed without a date or printer’s mark, is written with what strikes a modern reader as eccentric spelling. Dibdin or Herbert or Ames remarks on it: “I suspect that this little volume was printed abroad; there being so foreign an air throughout the whole orthography.” Now, Dr. Boli was a callow youth of less than 30 when this volume of the Dibdin edition was printed in 1812, but even then he could have set Mr. Dibdin right on that score. The dialect is clearly Northern; the marks are obvious—“tway” for “two,” plurals made with “-is” or “-ys” rather than “-s” or “-es,” “theton” and “thetother” for “the one” and “the other.”

For your edification, and your use when interpreting older printed books, Dr. Boli has transcribed the passage in mostly modern spelling, but leaving the punctuation exactly as it was in the original. Note the most important differences from modern punctuation:

  1. The virgule or slash is used for a comma.
  2. The colon is called “comma” (or “come” in the original).
  3. There is no semicolon.

The passage may be found in the original spelling (but with commas instead of virgules) in the second volume of Typographical Antiquities.


Of the craft of pointing.

There be five manner points/ and divisions most used with cunning men: the which/ if they be well used/ make the sentence very light/ and easy to understand both to the reader/ and the hearer/ and they be these: virgule/ comma/ parenthesis/ plain point/ and interrogative.

A virgule is a slender strike: leaning forward thiswise/ betokening a little/ short rest without any perfectness yet of sentence: as between the five points afore rehearsed.

A comma is with tway tittles thiswise: betokening a longer rest: and the sentence yet either is unperfect/ or else/ if it be perfect: there cometh more after/ longing to it: the which more commonly cannot be perfect by itself without at least somewhat of it: that goeth afore.

A parenthesis is with tway crooked virgules: as an old moon/ and a new belly to belly: the which be set the one afore the beginning/ and the other after the later end of a clause: coming within another clause: that may be perfect: though the clause/ so coming between: were away and therefore it is sounded commonly a note lower/ than the outer clause. If the sentence cannot be perfect without the inner clause/ then instead of the first crooked virgule a straight virgule will do very well: and instead of the latter must needs be a comma.

A plain point is with one tittle thiswise. And it cometh after the end of all the whole sentence betokening a long rest.

An interrogative is with tway tittles: the upper rising thiswise? And it cometh after the end of a whole reason: wherein there is some question axed/ the which end of the reason/ trying as it were for an answer: riseth upward.

We have made these rules in English: because they be as profitable/ and necessary to be kept in every mother tongue/ as in Latin. Since we (as we would to God: every preacher would do) have kept our rules both in our English/ and Latin: what need we/ since our own be sufficient enough: to put any other examples.

In Roman Africa, Even the Lower Classes Spoke Latin

In his book Roman Africa, Gaston Boissier argues that the evidence from inscriptions is clear: people of the lower classes in Roman Africa were Latin-speakers on the same level with Latin-speakers in all the other Latinized provinces. (There is another translation of this book by Arabella Ward, but this new translation, which appeared first in Dr. Boli’s Random Translations, is better.)


It must have been in the last centuries of the Empire, at the moment when Christianity was triumphing, that Latin became the dominant language in Africa. Not only was it spoken in the cities, but there is no doubt that it had penetrated into the countryside as well; a portion of the 20,000 inscriptions that compose our epigraphic collections come from thence. There, as everywhere, the epitaphs are what tell the story: they show us that people of all conditions, and the lowest conditions at that—tailors, butchers, cobblers, freedmen and slaves, wished to have a few words of Latin on their tombs.

Naturally the Latin of these poor people is often a very poor Latin. Faults abound in it; we have no cause for astonishment. Yet some have tried to draw quite extraordinary conclusions from it: it seemed that it was a proof of barbarism, and it has been claimed that a society in which Latin was so badly spoken had only been lightly touched by Roman civilization. But the truth is exactly the reverse. If the inscriptions were of irreproachable correctness, we might suppose that they were composed only by professional literary men, and that below that level only the idioms of the country were understood. The improprieties of terms, the grammatical errors, the solecisms and barbarisms that are encountered on almost every line show us that we are dealing with ignorant people; that they spoke Latin badly, but at least they spoke it. Thus it is not simply a scholarly and official language, which certain pedants use on account of vanity; it is a language in use, and, like every living language, it adapts to the people who use it and changes with their degree of culture. However much the epitaphs in general may be made up of set formulas, which could be copied almost without understanding them, there are some in Africa that escape that banality, and in which one is surprised to catch a sincere and personal expression. We must suppose, therefore, that the Africans ended up making themselves masters of a language that was at first foreign to them, since they used it to express the sentiments that meant the most to them. A native, from whom death had just taken his child, writes on the little tomb he raises these words, into which he has poured his soul: Birsil, anima dulcis! [C.I.L., 16582.] Once in a while we sense an effort to find words that express the deepest feelings. Epithets accumulate in praise of a lost wife or mother (piissima, pudica, laboriosa, frugi, vigilans, sollicita, etc.); or, in the case of a young girl, the most joyous images are borrowed from nature (ut dulcis flos, ut rosa, ut narcissus) without ultimate satisfaction. Often prose is not enough for these desperate mourners; they write the verses that grief dictates to them:

Hos pater inscripsi versus dictante dolore [Ibid., 1359.]

Grief, we must admit, often dictates detestable verses to them, but their very faults have this advantage: that they prove that Latin was spoken at all levels of African society.

Furthermore, these faults are perfectly similar to those committed elsewhere at the same era. This is what the publication of the Corpus of Latin inscriptions has permitted us to state with confidence. In that Corpus we see that there is very little in the Africans’ solecisms and barbarisms that belongs particularly to Africa; they are almost always shared with the rest of the Empire. We had already seen that those who spoke Latin well spoke it nearly the same way; the inscriptions show us that there were no more different ways of speaking it badly. To mention only the Africans’ most frequent errors, we see that they are foggy in their grammar; they confound the conjugations; they do not distinguish the tenses of verbs well; they no longer know which cases prepositions govern; but, if we open the epigraphic collections of other countries, we shall see that the people of Spain and Gaul were no more able or scrupulous grammarians. In Africa, as elsewhere, they mix up genders incessantly; they can hardly tell masculine from feminine, and the neuter is on its way to being suppressed. I do not insist on the habit the Africans had of not taking account of final consonants which must have been sounded very lightly when they were pronounced; that suppression was very convenient to those who presumed to make verses, and permitted, for example, a bereaved husband to write on his wife’s tomb:

Et linguit dulces natos et conjuge dignu. [C. I. L., 9117.]

for conjugem dignum, which could not end a hexameter. But the old Latins did not write otherwise, and the same thing was done throughout the Latinized provinces. As was natural, these alterations with time became more serious. Latin soured as it spread; it was spoken worse and worse the more it was spoken by poorer and more ignorant people. Toward the end of the Empire, in a little city in Byzacena, speaking of a Christian who had lived forty years, five months, and seven hours, this was the expression used: Bixit anos quragita, meses cequ, ora setima. [C. I. L., 12200.] Here we seem to have the peak of barbarity, and a way of speaking that smells Libyan and Numidian; and yet there were, at the same era, in the very capital of the Empire, people who wrote no better. The catacombs are full of equally barbarous inscriptions, and in them we can find almost every word used by that Christian of Byzacena. There are likewise other errors that the poor people of Africa committed; nearly every one of them will be found elsewhere.

——Gaston Boisset, L’Afrique romaine, promenades archéologiques en Algérie et en Tunisie.